Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Chanukah Chommentary

How would the nation react to a Cinderella Muslim quarterback who thanked Allah for his team’s success and his physical skills?  What if he placed an Islamic prayer rug behind the bench to thank his God at the end of the game?  I am pretty sure he wouldn’t end up in any Lowe’s commercials.
Speaking of Tim Tebow, America’s favorite religious nut bag, Pat Robertson was railing on SNL for its Tebow satire.  Robertson went on to describe a war on Christianity.  Yeah must be that same war tied to Lowes Home Improvement Stores pulling its sponsorships from the 700 Club’s All-American Christian.
As expected Asian markets were spooked following the death of North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il as the one certainty in finance is nobody likes uncertainty. 
Staying on Kim, did you happen to see that GOP Presidential candidate and every student’s best bell curve buddy Rick Perry referred to the deceased dictator as Kim Jong the Second?   The man makes Michele Bachmann look like a Rhodes Scholar.
The Arab League is sending in its Syria team in on Thursday.  No word if Hank Williams Jr. will be singing the opening credits theme song.
A Ukrainian man faces potentially serious consequences including caning after being charged for allegedly groping a Singapore Airlines flight attendant last month on a Moscow-to-Singapore flight.  Imagine that, a man could get caned for Cane-ing.  Herman lives.
Tonight Florida International University and Marshall are playing in the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl.  Beef O’Brady?  Is that how far we have fallen in the Bowl naming rights competition? 
If the GOP nomination were like the BCS, Romney would be the SEC Team and everybody else is Boise State, Oregon, or Oklahoma State.  Except for Jon Huntsman, he would be the team from the Big East that has no shot.
On this, the first night of Hanukkah, I hope the people of Israel come to their senses and replace the Netanyahu government.
As Russia descends into third world status, shouldn’t it be forced to give up its permanent Security Council seat? 
Nothing is as hilarious, maddening, pathetic, embarrassing, hateful, and ignorant as the comments in news posts or social network sites.  That’s not elitist talk, that’s just an educated person’s opinion.
May your latkes be firm, your dreidel always come up Gimel, your gelt be plentiful, your candles be dripless, and your Manishewitz Concord Grape be Cakebread.

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