It’s that time of the year when the prognosticators start sharing their 2015 predictions with the rest of us mere mortals. Yes the omnipotent and omnipresent soothsayers with unprecedented data at their disposal will make political, economic, sports, entertainment, geopolitical, and even weather predictions. Some will go bold like a 30% correction in the stock market, some will play it safe saying the San Francisco Giants will contend, some will go specific “Jeb Bush will be the front runner at the end of the year”, and some will go vague “President Obama and Congress will disagree.”
So here we go with the Diggapredictions for the insane, unstable, and those generally in need of help:
- Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN will focus solely on ratings at the expense of quality news coverage. In the run up to the 2016 presidential election these networks will reach new heights of polarized political prose like cheerleaders. The love triangle between Joe Scarborough, Chris Christie, and Jeb Bush will play out every morning like a General Hospital story arc.
- While on network news, expect to see 40 minutes of commercials for 20 minutes of news, where 90% of the commercials will focus on over-the-counter and prescription drugs to address 24 hour erections that make your legs restless and lead to fungus under your toenails requiring you and your partner to sit in twin bath tubs.
- The NFL and its puppet master Roger Goodell will continue to pay lip service to domestic violence, player safety, and other issues that could threaten the money making machine.
- As Obamacare becomes more ingrained and established and Americans opposition continues to move from repeal to tweak, Boehner and McConnell will have to balance and juggle the loud mouthed right calling for repeal and the moderates looking to tweak.
- There will be prolific sound bites and buffoonery during the presidential debates that will cause a revolving door of front runners from debate to debate. A full 18 months before the election, the circus will commence with the first debates. Keep the clown car running folks.
- President Obama will be called weak, indecisive, aloof, tyrannical, socialist, anti-capitalist, anti-Israel, Muslim, anti-America, race baiter, and appeaser…all before January 3rd.
- Economists will be the worst predictors again. They’ll miss GDP, employment, and inflation numbers so badly on monthly and quarterly regularity only to blame things like the weather, commodities, BRICS, Europe, and solar flares for their inaccuracies.
- Political infighting will not solely on the right. The Progressive left, energized by Elizabeth Warren, will have its share of disagreements with the party leadership, especially those with close ties to Wall Street (psst that’s you Schumer).
- Polls Polls Polls…get ready for head-to-head polls between the parties, popularity polls within the parties, approval ratings, direction of country…more polls than all of Tampa’s strip joints. ORC/CNN, WSJ, NBC, ABC, CBS, NY Times, Quinnipiac, PPP, Rasmussen, Sabato, Economist, and many more will inundate us with polling data and margins of error.
- If there’s an immigration deal, no one will get what they want and the respective bases in both parties will despair over the compromise and perceived capitulation. If you thought deal making and compromise were difficult to begin with, watch each candidate carefully watch his words and their votes (for Congressional members) to avoid self-inflicted wounds.
Yes I did not go out on a limb on any of the above, and I probably deserve a few “No Shit Sherlocks”. Just sit back and enjoy the show and wait for the I told you so. The blame will be allocated, the credit seized, and responsibility avoided. Woulda coulda shoulda will be in vogue, and many will go from being “taken out of context” to “really I was only joking”.
It’s America where the media makes sure people are entitled to their own opinions and their own facts. When that’s the case, how can anyone ever make a bad prediction?