Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ronald McDonald leads Michelle Bachman in the polls

Did you know that circumcision came to America as a Victorian British fad, not as a primarily Jewish custom, of which the original stated objective was to dissuade young men from masturbating?  Why am I sharing this with you?  Well, this November there will be a ballot measure in San Francisco to ban circumcision.  Crazy Liberals, first they want to ban Happy Meals, but now they want to save foreskins.  I guess some budget cuts are tougher than others.    Safe to say this is headed to the Supreme Court in the future.
Speaking of the Supreme Court; this week’s 5-4 ruling mandating that the State of California release up to 30,000 inmates due to overcrowding has raised the ire of the right and with it, the usual cries of judicial activism.  You mean they cannot transfer the worst felons to other states as some sort of exchange program?  Hell, send them to the border with some materials from Home Depot and start building a fence.
The staff at Diggapedia is closely watching the special election in New York’s 26th Congressional District, my old district, where a Democrat is leading both the Republican and Tea Party candidates for the vacant seat of the Craigslist Congressman: Chris Lee.  A Democrat victory could be a harbinger of GOP difficulties attributed to the unpopularity of Paul Ryan’s Medicare privatization. 
Also keep an eye on the 2012 Virginia Senate race between former Governor and DNC Chairman Tim Kaine and former Republican Senator George Allen of Maccca fame.  These guys are running neck and neck for the seat being vacated by the retiring Democrat Jim Webb in a state that Obama carried by 230,000 votes in 2008.  The presence of Tea Party candidate Jamie Radtke could become a factor if it forces Allen to move so far right to get the nomination, he could lose the independent center in the general election.
Liberals piss me off when they can’t recognize that a moderate democratic candidate still should be supported against the opposition in a general election.  Good is not the enemy of perfect.  They are like many in the Tea Party, their twisted twins at the other end of the political spectrum, and cannot accept that 70% of America resides in the moderate zone in the chewy center. 
The embarrassing tough times for the Pakistani military continue.  Just weeks after the successful U.S. raid on Bin Laden’s Pornshop in Abbottabad, six Taliban militants raided a Pakistani naval base in Karachi and blew up two Orion Reconnaissance Planes.  Suddenly the once vaunted Pakistani armed forces are looking like a cross between F Troop and McHale’s Navy.  It would be funny, if they didn’t possess dozens of nuclear weapons.
So Greece is now in full liquidation mode to raise capital in the face of austerity induced programs related to its European and IMF rescue packages.  Sources tell me that George Papadopolous at the Century 21 office in Athens is listing the Acropolis as a unique fixer upper.
Speaking of Greece, the putrid politician and pundit hyperbole claiming the U.S. is headed down the road to financial failure like Greece need to STFU.  Do we need to get a financial house in order?  Absolutely.  But this inaccurate fear mongering needs to stop.  If the U.S. were headed to imminent financial ruin why are U.S. Treasury bond yields (higher yields are a measure of risk to default) at 3.13% while bonds from Greece, Ireland, and Portugal are 14.21%, 11.15%, and 10.01% respectively?  Further, as soon as there is a hiccup in Europe, capital inflows into the U.S. immediately pick up and the dollar strengthens.  This battle over the debt ceiling is a distraction and Boehner needs to get his newbies in line.
Activist shareholders at McDonalds annual shareholders meeting are trying to get a resolution passed to axe Ronald McDonald, the iconic red haired clown of the golden arches.  A somber Ronald told a reporter from the Candy Land Chronicle “When they came for the Hamburgular, I didn’t speak put because I wasn’t a burglar, when they came for Mayor McCheese, I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a politician, then they came for me and there was no one to left to speak out for me.”
Michelle Bachmann at a family values function in Minnesota said of running for President will not be easy.  “If this is something the Lord has called us to, he will make a way where this no way.”  Eight years of Jesus told me to run Bush Administration, and now we have another politician lining up to bring Evangelism to Pennsylvania Ave.  Seriously, Congresswoman Bachmann, be sure it’s the Lord really telling you to run.  That voice you’re hearing may be Chris Matthews.  Haaaaaaah!.

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