Thursday, February 9, 2012

These Headlines Would Make My Day

In honor of Clint Eastwood’s Super Bowl ad with Chrysler, here are some headlines that would ‘make my day’:
Pentagon confirms that Seal Team Six is the U.S. Armed Forces first all gay unit.
Eric Cantor indicted on insider trading scam involving several Wall Street Hedge Funds.
Gisele Bundchen leaves Tom Brady for Eli Manning.
David Chase announces Soprano’s movie that will explain the ending of the last episode
Levi Johnston elected Alaska’s Governor.
Citing U.S. led sanctions, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says Iran will give up its Nuclear Program
In a surprise election result, Netanyahu government defeated by Labor opposition.
U.S. Government sells its last remaining shares in GM and nets the American taxpayer a $10Billion profit
Obama/Biden rout Romney/Santorum 328-210
Congressman Ron Paul admits to not only knowing the contents of the racist newsletters, he actually wrote a few.
NBC announces that Rachel Maddow to take over as permanent host of Meet the Press.
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer and Senator John McCain announce they are stepping down due to sexting scandal
Aide to Sarah Palin tells Fox News that the former Alaskan Governor will continue her vow of silence indefinitely
Gabrielle Giffords wins special election to take over the retiring John McCain’s seat
Affordable Care Act and the individual mandate ruled Constitutional by Supreme Court.
Supreme Court strikes down anti-immigration laws in Alabama, Georgia, Arizona, and South Carolina
After losing control of the House, former speaker John Boehner told by Republican caucus don’t bother seeking Minority Leader position.
Carnegie Deli announces it will open a delicatessen in Scottsdale, Arizona
Karl Rove questioned by Interpol and FBI agents after his SuperPAC is caught in a sting operation accepting donations from al Qaeda.

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