- Newt Gingrich
o “What if [Obama] is so outside our comprehension, that only if you understand Kenyan, anticolonial behavior, can you begin to piece together [his actions]? That is the most accurate, predictive model for his behavior.”
o “Drop a little bit of the pious baloney.”
o “I don’t think right-wing social engineering is any more desirable than left-wing social engineering. I don’t think imposing radical change from the right or the left is a very good way for a free society to operate.”
- Mitt Romney
o “Uh, I'm actually going to to, I'm not familiar precisely with exactly what I said, but I stand by what I said, whatever it was. And with regards to, uh, I'll go back and take at what was said there.”
o “I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake, we can’t have illegals.”
o “This feels good, being back in Michigan. You know, the trees are the right height."
- Rick Perry
o “I would do away with the Education, the, uh, Commerce, and, let's see. I can't. The third one I can't. Sorry. Oops”
o “Those who are going to be over 21 on November 12th, I ask for your support.” Too bad the voting age is 18 and election day is November 6th.
- Paul Ryan
o “Under three, high twos. I had a two hour and fifty-something. I was fast when I was younger, yeah.”
o ”I don’t have the ... It would take me too long to go through all of the math”
- Herman Cain
o "President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Qaddafi - just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing before I say yes I agree, or no I didn't agree. I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason - nope, that's a different one."
o "I'm ready for the 'gotcha' questions and they're already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. Do you know? And then I'm going to say, 'How's that going to create one job?'"
- Michele Bachmann
o "You're the state where the shot was heard around the world at Lexington and Concord.” Unfortunately for the geographically challenged one-time presidential candidate, she was in New Hampshire and not Massachusetts where the battles actually took place.
o “Well, what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too." Unfortunately, for Bachmann and the citizens of Waterloo, it wasn’t screen legend John Wayne, but serial killer John Wayne Gacy who hailed from Waterloo, Iowa.
- Rick Santorum
o President Obama once said he wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob.”
o “I don’t believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute. The idea that the church can have no influence or no involvement in the operation of the state is absolutely antithetical to the objectives and vision of our country.”
Thanks for the clown car memories. See you in four more years.