If Then


If you think President Obama is a Socialist, then you need to  take a one way trip to Venezuela or Bolivia.

If you don’t believe in climate change,  then you need to go back to 7th grade and take Earth Sciences again.

If you think we are a Christian Nation, then you need to read the writings of Madison and Jefferson

If you think Ronald Reagan was a patriot, then you need to read the Boland Amendment

If you think raising taxes causes job losses, then you need to read the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Commerce Department reports for 1992 – 1996.

If you think deficits don’t matter, then you are likely a Republican in office.

If you think deficits do matter, then you are likely a Republican trying to get into office.

If you think there is no war on women, then you need to research Seneca Falls, Comstock Act, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Lucretia Mott.

If you think the Obama Administration are the ones killing the coal industry, then you need to look into the attractive blonde lady and her American Petroleum Industry.

If you think same sex marriage is a threat to your heterosexual marriage, then you should go to couples counseling.

If you think compromise is a sign of weakness, then you have probably won many battles but no wars.

If you think it is wrong to criticize or challenge your friends, then you’re no friend of mine.

If you don’t the difference between Shia or a Sunni, then you may have worked in the Bush administration

If the core of your anti equal rights argument includes ‘the Bible says’, you need to read the whole Bible, not just the parts that prove your bigotry.

If you call yourself a civil libertarian but oppose same sex marriage, then you’re a LINO.

If you think Republicans like small government, then you need to make a trip to northern Virginia and Maryland to see the new Intelligence Industrial Complex.

If you think fracking is safe, then drink well water exclusively from the Marcellus Shale for one year.

If you think sporting events are fixed, then you may be  a birther, truther, and a fan of Jesse Ventura.

If you believe the President is the most divisive man in recent American History, then you have less credibility than the ShamWow guy.

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