If Then
If you think President Obama is a Socialist, then you need to
take a one way trip to Venezuela or
Bolivia.
If you don’t believe in climate change, then you need to go back to 7th
grade and take Earth Sciences again.
If you think we are a Christian Nation, then you need to read
the writings of Madison and Jefferson
If you think Ronald Reagan was a patriot, then you need to
read the Boland Amendment
If you think raising taxes causes job losses, then you need
to read the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Commerce Department reports for 1992
– 1996.
If you think deficits don’t matter, then you are likely a
Republican in office.
If you think deficits do matter, then you are likely a
Republican trying to get into office.
If you think there is no war on women, then you need to
research Seneca Falls, Comstock Act, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Lucretia Mott.
If you think the Obama Administration are the ones killing
the coal industry, then you need to look into the attractive blonde lady and
her American Petroleum Industry.
If you think same sex marriage is a threat to your
heterosexual marriage, then you should go to couples counseling.
If you think compromise is a sign of weakness, then you have
probably won many battles but no wars.
If you think it is wrong to criticize or challenge your
friends, then you’re no friend of mine.
If you don’t the difference between Shia or a Sunni, then
you may have worked in the Bush administration
If the core of your anti equal rights argument includes ‘the
Bible says’, you need to read the whole Bible, not just the parts that prove
your bigotry.
If you call yourself a civil libertarian but oppose same sex
marriage, then you’re a LINO.
If you think Republicans like small government, then you
need to make a trip to northern Virginia and Maryland to see the new
Intelligence Industrial Complex.
If you think fracking is safe, then drink well water exclusively
from the Marcellus Shale for one year.
If you think sporting events are fixed, then you may be a birther, truther, and a fan of Jesse
Ventura.
If you believe the President is the most divisive man in
recent American History, then you have less credibility than the ShamWow guy.
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