Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Why Republicans Make Lousy Economists

John Shadegg (R-AZ) was on Morning Joe this morning arguing that unemployment benefits are not stimulative to the economy because unemployed hoard their checks.  He doubled down on his nonsense by saying that maintaining lower taxes for the richest 2% in the country creates jobs.  With all due respect (read: very little) Congressman, the nonpartisan CBO issued the analysis below that clearly shows the biggest driver to increase employment is increasing aid to the unemployed and that income tax reductions are the least effective.  Why?  Unemployed spend their unemployment checks, while the rich spend no more if their tax rates are 35% or 39%.   The good news: Shadegg is retiring.


Even the A-holes are bigger in Texas

The video is 12 minutes long but you need to watch AC slam Representative Berman (R-TX).  Are all Texas Congressmen Douche Bags?  Delay, Berman, Gohmert, Barton?  Cooper Shellacks Berman

Tell you what Governor Perry: I am begging you to secede.

Desert Boom

Not since the Manhattan Project tests of the 1940’s has there been a bigger bomb in the desert than this year’s Arizona Cardinals.  Two years removed from a near Super Bowl victory, they now make the Lions and Bills look good.  Kurt Warner couldn’t help this defense, and worse this even goes beyond the powers of Bristol “Middle Finger” Palin.

Tuesday's Top Ten

1.      In light of the recent disclosure of the confidential information, I need to come clean about this column.  I almost named this blog DiggiLeaks, but figured it was too close to DiggiCraps. 
2.      Mixed emotions about the Chargers-Colts game Sunday night.  I love seeing Marbles Manning and the Dolts struggle, but the Chargers and Rivers scare the crap out of me.  On the plus side, I sleep better knowing they are coached by Norv Turner aka Marty.Schottenheimer 2.0.
3.      The not so shocking revelation in the WikiLeaks memos was the unanimous feelings from Arab states hoping that the US and/or Israel would bomb Iran.  Tell you what King Abdullah et al, give us your oil, find a home for the Palestinians, and allow human rights in your kingdoms, and we’ll consider it.  Heck we might even throw in a mosque in NYC.
4.      I have always cringed every time an athlete thanks God or Jesus after a victory, winning score, or record breaking performance.  Which is why I had chuckle at Buffalo’s Steve Johnson’s Tweet after he dropped five passes including a potential game winner during Buffalo’s OT loss to Pittsburgh: "I praise you 24/7!!! And this how you do me!!! You expect me to learn from this???How??? I'll never forget this!! Ever!! Thx Tho."  And one other thing God, how could you let me split 4’s at the blackjack table?
5.      According to the the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, the $700 Billion Troubled Asset Relief Program or TARP will cost taxpayers a mere $25 billion, which is half of the Obama administration’s September estimate.  Heck, let the Bush Tax cuts expire for the rich and the remaining $25Billion is paid for in under 6 months.
6.      Speaking of which, I get tired of hearing Republicans go on about how letting taxes rise for the rich will choke off the economy and hurt employment because the government will be raising taxes on small business owners.  Really?  You mean those law firm partners and hedge fund managers who are considered ‘small businesses’ for tax purposes?
7.      Fiji Bottled Water says it is closing down its operation on the South Pacific Island claiming the military-led Fijian government was extorting massive tax increases from the California-based company.  I’m thinking Ramallah, Mexico City, and Mogadishu are not in the running to become the new home for Fiji.  How about a Freaky Friday plot where we send Fiji Water to Cuba and our Gitmo detainees to Fiji?
8.       For Democratic lawmakers: did you know the earliest known reference to the term lame duck goes back to the 1760’s and was coined by a stockbroker on the London Stock Exchange?  For Republican lawmakers Kyl, McCain, Boehner, and Cantor: the origin of the term dickhead is still unclear.
9.      How low can we go?  A 37-year old Milwaukee woman is facing potential charges for pushing a 100 year old Walmart greeter Sunday.  Hey Walmart, do you think it was a good idea to have 100 year old Lois Speelman facing down the crazed hoard of shoppers on that particular weekend?  “You Americans have some crazy customs and are a fair bit reckless, “said the mayor of Pamplona, Spain.
10.   President Obama’s call for a federal wage freeze has pissed off the right and the left.  Does that mean it’s a good idea?   When looking at deficit reduction as a whole, it makes very little difference.  However, it establishes the President as the aggressor in this MMA fight with the GOP and Congress and he can set the dialog regarding the key deficit reduction issues: Bush tax cuts, entitlements, Defense, and other taxes.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Monday's Mishegas

-        76 year old Michigan grandmother Bea Leach bagged a five-point buck last week.  Word out of Wasilla, Alaska is Sarah Palin has added Ms. Leach to her short list of potential vice presidential candidates for 2012.
-        George W. Bush makes no apologies for the tough decision he had to make during his presidency in his memoir ‘Decision Points’.  In all interviews he has offered no regrets or assessments of the results.  Perhaps his follow-up should be titled ‘Truth and Consequences’.
-        Clearly investing in additional border security has paid off.  Last week U.S. Border Patrol was able to apprehend and arrest Willie Nelson of possession of marijuana.  It seems the border guard smelled marijuana smoke when he boarded the tour bus in Texas. 
-        Let’s Make a Deal starts in Washington this week.  Will the Republicans get their tax cuts for their millionaire buddies?  Will the Democrats get an extension of unemployment benefits?  Do the Dream Act, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and START get placed on the back burner?  Who will show up to moderate Monty Hall or Howie Mandel?
-        I hope President Obama takes the initiative for the next two years; don’t be a politician, be a leader.  Inspire the nation with a vision of social progress (DADT and Immigration Policy) while laying out the necessary policies to keep the economy moving (short term stimulus) while reducing long term debt (entitlement reform and discretionary spending cuts).  You must be transformational: change the tax code, enable technology development, and eliminate unnecessary bureaucracy.  It will be tough medicine for Americans, but it must be done.   Tell the nation what it needs, not what it wants.  If you own the tactics by not delegating the work to Congress AND don’t allow the Republicans to take control of the dialogue, you will be successful.  Be Obama the leader, not Obama the politician. 
-        U.S. Poverty rate rose to 14.3% in 2009, the highest in 50 years.  Makes it difficult to call us the richest nation on earth when we are regressing as a society.
-        Our Afghanistan strategy is focused on two critical provinces: Helmund and Kandahar.  Unfortunately, in a recent Canadian survey only 8% of the Afghans in those provinces are aware of the 9/11 attacks.  8%!!!!!!  No wonder these Afghan citizens side with the Taliban and view us as the latest version of unwanted invaders.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Black Sunday: Everything Must Go

It's a great day for America:
-        Hanukah, Chanukah, Chanukkah, Channukah, Hannukah, Hanuka, Hanukka, Hanaka, and Hanika are different spellings for חנוכה .  So don’t despair my gentile friends, all spellings and pronunciations are welcome.  Now, I hope I get a harmonica and be sure to smoke your medical marijuanica.  Friendly reminder that Chanukah starts on December 1st this year.
-        Black Eyed Peas will be the halftime entertainment at this year’s Super Bowl.  Initially I was dismayed that they were chosen but upon further review I am very happy to watch Fergie for 15 minutes.  After all, Up With People were chosen a record four times (Super Bowls X, XIV, XVI, and XX).  Just keep the Jonas Brothers and Justin Bieber away; unless they are on the field during the game and not during halftime.
-        Prince Chunk the literal fat cat of New Jersey allegedly died in his sleep at the age of 10.  Chunk became a media sensation when he was found wandering around South Jersey after the foreclosure of his owner’s home.  Another cat named Curiosity is being held for questioning.  In other New Jersey homeless news, whatever happened to Joe Piscopo?
-        Trying to figure out how to get my closed caption feature to work when Shannon Sharpe speaks during CBS pregame show.
-        Wondering what John “Grandpa Simpson” McCain will come up with next to oppose DADT repeal when the Pentagon study comes out this week saying soldiers are either for repeal or indifferent?  Rock, Paper, Scissors? 
-        Not to be outdone by his fellow Arizona Senator, Jon Kyl spewed more lies and misdirection today on Meet The Press as he defended his stance of not allowing the START treaty to come up for vote during the lame duck session.  He says he needs more time to study.  Hmmm pulled that right from McCain’s playbook.  What’s the plural for Douche?  Douches?  Douchi?
-        Watched The Expendables last night.  Was Carl Weathers unavailable?  Randy Couture, MMA legend and acting novice, held his own with Stallone, Lundgren, Roberts, Statham, Li, et al.  The acting, the directing, the writing …. the horror.
-        At the other end of the spectrum, pick up the Last Call: The Rise and Fall of Prohibition by Daniel Okrent.  A tremendous look at the original Tee(totaler) Party.

Friday, November 26, 2010

An assortment of Thanksgiving leftovers.

What no Cranberry Sauce?
-        South Korea’s defense minster Kim Tae-young resigned just days after the shelling of Yeonpyeong Island by North Korea (Sarah, they’re the bad Korea).  Makes you wonder how the hell Rumsfeld held onto his position for nearly six years.
-        As much as I enjoy Modern Family, it still comes up short when compared to Arrested Development, which can be seen on IFC.  Liza Minnelli playing vertigo-inflicted Lucille Two was priceless.
-        In a Thanksgiving tradition, President Obama spared a turkey at the White House on Wednesday.   Joe Biden could not be reached for comment.
-        Big week coming up in Washington as the lame duck congress comes back to work.  Tuesday hearings on DADT repeal, START ratification, and on Wednesday the Deficit Reduction Commission holds it vote.  Safe to say nothing will get accomplished.  Same as it ever was.
-        All of these predictions the new airport security screening processes would lead to massive delays turned out to be just like Y2K.  Dire warnings followed by much ado about nothing.
-        I am happy that pilots and flight attendants will be able to bypass the new screening procedures.   However, I wonder who is speaking for the thousands of airport and airline employees who work every day in the secured zones?
-        A ½ mile tunnel linking Tijuana and San Diego to smuggle drugs and other contraband was discovered days ago.  Once again proving the point that building static fences didn’t work well for the French in 1940 and they don’t work today.
-        I am excited that the Patriots are 9-2.  But the defense couldn’t stop a refrigerator from running.
-        President Obama received 12 stitches after accidentally getting elbowed during a pick-up basketball game.  I hope his cover story is better than Tiger’s from a year ago.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

What I’m Thankful For…beware it’s an acquired taste

I am thankful for:
Google for turning a social media savvy-less simpleton like me into a blogger-in-training
Jon Stewart, Craig Ferguson, and Jimmy Fallon for making television funny
AMC for taking a chance on The Walking Dead…check out this week’s Entertainment Weekly
Limbaugh, Hannity, Malkin, and Beck for providing me with so much material
The Palins…the golden goose of blogger material
Golfing on Thanksgiving morning
Thanksgiving; Where Americans overindulge in food and drink get into family fights…True American Exceptionalism
Sarcasm, irony, satire, and parody
Christmas music playing in stores in September…see above.
Living in a country where:  if I don’t like what I am watching I can change the channel, if I don’t like what I am listening to I can change the station, and if I don’t like what I am reading on line I can click.
Independent documentary movies and the small theaters that still play them
And finally,
I am thankful for my beautiful wife Mrs. Diggapedia and all of my friends and family.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Palins: 1st Family of Antagonism

The Palins:  The Gift That Just Keeps Giving
David Letterman, Katie Couric, Michelle Obama, Meghan McCain, Lisa Murkowski, Elizabeth Edwards, Frank Murkowski, Barbara Bush, and Maureen Dowd…a short list of the people Sarah ‘Half Term’ Palin has publicly feuded with recently.  Dave Shultz, Bob Probert, Roberto Duran, and Chuck Liddell have nothing on the Gorilla from Wasilla when it comes to building a substantial body of fighting work.  Seriously, she has been involved in more grudge matches than Ric Flair.
Then there is All-American Daughter Bristol: “Going out there and winning this would mean a lot,” Bristol told the Dancing with the Stars audience during a clip package on the finale. “It would be like a big middle finger to all the people out there that hate my mom and hate me.”  Nice.
Half Term Palin on the Korean flare up “But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies. We’re bound to by treaty –-“…I am going to give her a break here.  North Korea is further from Alaska than Russia, so it’s difficult for her to see Kim Jong Il’s Palace from her front porch.
In other news…
Tom ‘The Hammer’ Delay (TX), former Republican Majority Leader has been convicted of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering.   Sentencing will take place on December 20th and he could face life in prison.  Guess The Hammer finally got nailed, and may get nailed again, and again…
Vikings coach Brad Childress was fired this week.  At least he didn’t learn of his firing from a text message form QB Brett Favre. 
Give thumbs up to Motor Trend’s Todd Lassa for fighting back at Limbaugh, after Limbaugh ripped The President, GM, and Motor Trend about the Chevy Volt.  Lassa responded in his blog “If you can stop shilling for your favorite political party long enough to go for a drive, you might really enjoy the Chevy Volt. I’m sure GM would be happy to lend you one for the weekend. Just remember: driving and Oxycontin don’t mix.”
George Bush’s Twister-inspired color coded threat warning system is about to be retired.  Not soon enough, I have been in left hand red, right foot orange since the shoe bomber.  Now, can we keep our freaking shoes on and not worry about my 3 oz of Listerine?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tuesdays with Diggie

Palinapalooza Update:
-        Sarah’s Infomercial/Public Service Announcement/Campaign Ad/Alaskan Chamber of Commerce Promotion on TLC lost 40% of its audience from its 5million strong debut last week.  Of the 3million viewers only 885,000 were from the desirable 18-49 demographic, making the median age 57.  I think ABC called this phenomenon 'Flash Forward'.
-        Sarah Half Term herself has graced the valley of the sun this evening as she is kicking off her book tour at the Barnes and Nobles at the Desert Ridge Center in Phoenix.  I heard she is using the Crayola 64 box to sign the books.  Suck it NYC, LA, and San Fran as she isn’t even stopping in your Lamestream Media cities.    
Palin isn’t always wrong, she was correct in predicting that death panels would be established as we began rationing healthcare.  What she didn’t know was that the death panels would be established by her friend Phyllis Diller Brewer in Arizona.  PDB’s failure to properly fund the Arizona Health Care Cost Containment System has left 60 people unable to get their life saving transplants.  Instead of dealing with the problem, PDB blamed the new healthcare act; unfortunately, she defunded AHCCC BEFORE healthcare reform passed.
Commerce Department reported that American businesses earned record profits at an annual rate of $1.659 trillion in the third quarter; highest since the government began tracking over 60 years ago.  Hey, I am a proud capitalist, but it does make the corporate world sound like a bunch of spoiled douche bags when they claim the White House is anti-business?  Perhaps they should simply say thank you for the financial bailouts and tax breaks.
NFC West Part Deux: In the latest ESPN power ratings of the 32 NFL teams, the four NFC West teams are ranked 21 (Seattle), 22 (St Louis), 26 (SF), and 27 (Arizona).  NCAA teams Boise State and Oregon could win this division.  The league should consider revoking this division’s playoff spot.
Mr. President, friendly reminder that neither congress nor the courts will overturn DADT; time to step up Mr. Commander-In-Chief and sign that executive order.
Everyone’s talking about the delays at airports due to the new pat down screening procedures.  I wonder how much of the delay is caused by people getting back in line for seconds?
I am going out on a limb and say that Germany will announce its intention to walk away from the Euro within the next 24 months.  The German people have no stomach to be the ones constantly bailing out the weaker less-austere member states. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Monday Night Mishegas

Constantly bringing you the wide world of the absurd.

NFL’s NFC west standings and results:
Seattle 5-5: last game 34-19 loss to New Orleans
St. Louis 4-6: last game 34-17 loss to Atlanta
Arizona 3-7: last game 31-13 loss to KC
San Francisco 3-7: last game 21-0 loss to Tampa Bay
-        This division is the ACC of NCAA football, the Fox of late night TV, the MSNBC of cable news, the Massachusetts GOP of politics, the Brussels Sprouts of vegetables, and the M. Night Shyamalan of movie turkeys.

100,000 Latinos moved out of AZ and Governor Phyllis Diller Brewer says her SB1070 is doing what it was design to do: force illegal immigrants out of the country.  Two issues here: (1) the low voltage light bulb in her brain believes all Latinos are illegal immigrants and (2) when a state loses citizens it is never good for its economy.

Only 33% of boys born in the US in 2009 were circumcised.  I think the NFL is taking this helmet to helmet contact thing way too seriously. 

Skating with the Stars debuts tonight on ABC right after The Bristol Palin Dance Machine.  My audition as Zamboni driver was cut from the show; apparently the show’s producers frowned upon me trying to take out Bethenny Frankel during practice.

Airline travel just got more dangerous as recent tests indicated that 100% of planes tested positive for the strongest cat allergen.   Between cat owners and cats in the cabin, there is now real danger to those that are allergic to cats.  Time to get these mother f---ing cats off this mother f---ing plane.

Mark Zuckerberg is evil.  Apparently an 18 year old Italian boy suffered an Asthma attack when his girlfriend broke up with him, changed her status, posted who her new boyfriend was and then de-friended our victim.  Fortunately, Advair was nearby and came to the rescue.  What happened to asthma attacks from over exertion and poor air quality?

Justin Bieber’s high pitched teenage girl vocal styling that drives dogs crazy resulted in big time success at the AMA last night.  I bet if he was entered in the MMA, we would hear a similar high pitched screech without the competitive success.  

I see there was a Quidditch World Cup this weekend.  A world cup for a sport created as part of the Harry Potter story.  On the plus side at least it gets all of those dungeons and dragons players out of their parents’ basements and gets them outdoors to get some fresh air and sunshine.  Also, this world cup  represented biggest outdoor gathering of young men where no one got laid.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I'll Take Political Potpourri for $200 Alex

 Coffee has kicked  in so let's get this ranting started:
-        John Kyl (R-AZ), the #2 Republican in the Senate, will not allow the START Treaty to come to a vote until next year when the chances of rejection are higher.  So Kyl and company are siding with our enemies in North Korea and Iran?  In a way yes.  This treaty is necessary to get Russia on board with our strategy against North Korea and Iran, without it, we extend an environment that enables the rogue states to pursue nuclear aspirations.  Look at this weekend’s news that North Korea has rapidly built a new enrichment facility.
-        Listening Bobby Jindal this morning on Meet The Press:  Why don’t you stay in Louisiana and figure out to get safe drinking water to New Orleans.
-        Racial profiling is a necessary tool in screening for terrorists.  I said it.  That goes for travelers, airport employees, everybody. 
-        When asked by Christiane Amanpour about how the rest of the world would view a Sarah Palin run for 2012, the Financial Times’ Ed Luce replied “With horror, I think.”  She is better off being an entertainer because she has already proven that being governor was too much work when she quit halfway through her 1st term.  She wants to be voted most popular in the class, but realizes president of the class is a lot work, in the end she may end up simply being the class clown.
-        When will Middle Class America realize that Republicans do not have your best interests at heart?  Today they fight for keeping income and corporate taxes low for millionaires and billionaires, but seem to have no issue cutting unemployment benefits, letting taxes go up when the stimulus expires ($400/individual), and allowing the earned income tax credit expire.
-        Pelosi becoming minority leader is the best thing for Obama.  He can step in and fill the centrist void as the Congressional Democrats dig in their heels on the left and the obstructionist GOP focuses on making Obama another Jimmy Carter. 
-        Lame duck Congress should put DADT repeal and the Dream Act on the Defense Appropriations Bill and make the Republicans say nay.  Paint them as putting American lives at risk, pro-Taliban, and unpatriotic.
Finally, it is becoming increasingly clear that at the end of the day I will likely have paid more into Social Security than I will receive as a benefit.  So why is Bernie Maddoff the only one in prison?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Irish Spring Can't Come Soon Enough

Looks like international liquidity to help prop up the Irish banks will likely be finalized next week.  While reviewing the terms of the bail out, Irish PM Brian Cowen shrugged and quipped "It's all Greek to me". 

In all seriousness, I have a deep affinity for the land of Ireland and its people.  After cutting services and raising taxes on its 4.5Million citizens, its cost of borrowing increasing, and it's banks seeing a continued outflow of capital, the country has been brought to its knees; the Celtic Tiger has been de-clawed.  The European powers will try to tie Ireland's corporate tax rate (a European low of 12.5%) as a condition of the loan, and in the process tear out another piece of sovereignty in the EU (a right Irish voters insisted on during the Lisbon Treaty negotiations last year).

Perhaps they should have reached out to Tony Soprano for better terms.

The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Straight Up & Down (LONG VERSION)

Thanks to Boardwalk Empire for bringing this tremendous track back. Love it.


Football at Wrigley Field

College football at Wrigley is like hockey at Fenway Park: a novel idea, but let's not call it historic.  Further, because of the park dimensions, both teams' offenses will advance the ball in the same direction because of a safety issue at one of the end zones.   Heck playing neighborhood football at Mattulina Park (The Heights) we incorporated losers walk and barnyard rules, but us 10 year olds always managed to figure out how use the whole field.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Bristol Palin and The Situation Make Awkward Safe Sex PSA - Terra

This PSA is more like a POS. Things to come to mind:
1) Bristol's acting is only outdone by her dancing skills.
2) These two clowns doing an abstinence PSA is like Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan doing a PSA for addiction, Marion Jones and Mark McGwire for performance enhancing drugs, Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley for gambling addiction, and Jeff Skilling and Bernie Maddoff for business ethics.
3) Situation has fallen on much bigger grenades and land mines.


Bristol Palin and The Situation Make Awkward Safe Sex PSA - Terra

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Dancing with the Stars or Bristolgate

Theories from the dark side:

1) William Hung was before his time
2) Bristol Palin and Sanjaya Malakar...talentless talent show contestants who prove that it's all BS...both were past their expiration dates
3) Conspiracy Theory: Some Tea Party tech wizard figured out how to reprogram their campaign phones so that instead of robo-calling households, it flooded the DWTS phone banks with Bristol votes
4) Arnold Rothstein would be envious of this fix.
5) Do you think John McCain wishes he had picked Bristol instead of Sarah for his running mate?
6) I haven't seen this many brain dead people vote since the Kennedy-Nixon 1960 election (Chicago vote tally).
7) I bet you will see Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Tim Pawlenty, and any other GOP presidential hopeful try to get their kids onto the 2012 season of DWTS.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tuesday's Top Ten

10) Newly elected conservative congressman Dr. Andy Harris, a physician from Maryland who ran on a strictly anti-Obamacare message wants to know why he has to wait 28 days for his GOVERNMENT provided healthcare coverage to kick in.  28 days?  How about 90 days, 180 days, or never  for many private sector people?  Here’s a suggestion to Dr. Harris, sign up for Cobra in the meantime.  Congratulations Doctongressman you have made the Diggapedia top ten list and you haven’t even started serving yet. 
9) To: Congressman Charlie Rangel (D-NY), spare us the false outrage about your ethics investigation:  20 terms and 11 ethics violations.  Hit the bricks and I don’t want to hear from the Black Congressional Caucus that this was race-based.  As chairman of the House ways and means committee, you failed and need to be censured.
8)  If you want a balanced scholarly look at the origins of the Israeli-Arab-Palestine troubles pick up Benny Morris’ 1948.  It provides an inside look at the British, American, Arab, Israeli, and Soviet thoughts and strategies from after WWI through the armistice in 1949.  Palestinian Arabs definitely got screwed, but not by the Jews.  They can blame themselves and their Arab sponsors who were more interested in their own power struggles and land grabs than the plight of the Palestinians.
7) Good news/bad news.  I love AMC’s The Walking Dead and was happy to hear that it has already been picked up for a second season.  Bad news, they only did six episodes this season and we’re halfway through.
6) I’m not saying that America doesn’t need to get its shit together and start focusing on education, infrastructure, economic restructuring, and 21st century technologies, but to declare China the new champ is premature and defeatist.  Any country that experiences: a 60 mile/11 day traffic jam, fuel shortages that cause mortuaries to idle their crematoriums while the bodies stack up, 2,600 mining deaths (2009), and no protection of property is far from claiming the title.
5) Good news/bad news Part Deux: Redskins QB Donovan McNabb signed a contract extension worth $78Million, unfortunately he only collects $3.75Million (I know ‘only’ is relative) if he is cut or traded before next season.  Stock up on your Chunky Soup DM, you are history.
4) Count me in the Kate Middleton fan club; and Prince Williams gets an A+ for his decision making skills.
3) GOP senators will try to block ratification of the US-Russian Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty.  Why?  Because it’s Obama’s idea.  Jon Kyl (R-AZ) says the Senate needs more time to study the treaty.  More time?  Arizona: Brewer, McCain, Kyl, and Pearce, at least medical marijuana will be available, because we’re all going to need a bong hit because of this Rhombus of Retards.
2) I am curious if people still think that bailing out GM was a bad move.  After all the mental midgets on the right (Palin, Limbaugh, Paul, Hannity, Beck, Shelby, Demint, etc.) couldn’t wait to call Obama a socialist.  Well, we are on the verge of a GM IPO including 365 million common shares for $26 to $29 each and 60 million preferred shares for $50 each producing a market cap of $49Billion, and the Chevy Volt has been named Motor Trend Car of the Year.
1) What do the BCS, Figure Skating, and Dancing with the Stars have in common?  They’re all bullshit.  Each has a legitimate competitive element that is unfortunately dwarfed by some ridiculous voting or rating process that all too often fails to produce the true champion.  If your event includes a judge, computer, or viewer vote it is NOT a Competition, it is a pageant. 

Monday, November 15, 2010

Monday's Mishegas - November 15th Edition

-        Big controversy over the new airport scanning machines and the new pat down methods.  People everywhere are asking “Do I want increased security or my privacy protected?” I ask “Does this new scanner make my ass look big?”
-        Speaking of these new security measures, how do they exactly improve cargo security?  How would this have prevented the toner cartridge bomb scare from two weeks ago?
-        After one meeting with the 13 freshman GOP senators, minority leader Mitch McConnell pulled a quick 180 and now says he will support the banning of all earmarks.  Folded like origami. 
-        Why do most right wing commentators come across has mean lying self-loathing sob’s while most left wing commentators come across as nasty petty self loathing d-bags?  Rachel Maddow excluded.
-        With pending gridlock heading to Washington, I propose that Congress adopt a new method to pass legislation: The Magic 8-Ball.  Each side alternates asking a key critical question about pending legislation.  For instance: John Boehner can ask: Should we cut taxes for the richest 1% Americans?  Response: Outlook not so good.  Harry Reid can ask: Should we repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?  Response: Better not tell you now.
-        Will Michael Steele collect unemployment when the RNC cans his ass?  Ironic that he travelled around the nation in a Fire Pelosi bus, and he’s the one about to get canned.
-        Nominee for best casting ever: Bill Clinton in a cameo in the Hangover II
-        I thought I was getting into Palin’s Alaska show last night as it depicted a bunch of folks living off the land without any of civilization’s pleasantries dining on raw flesh.  Then I realized I was watching AMC’s The Walking Dead.
-        Good thing I have FTD.com in my favorites.  Makes ordering flowers much easier after acting like an ass in the morning.  OK OK OK, I wasn’t acting.
-        ABC announced its latest brainchild Skating with the Stars, because that’s what America needs: more has beens and never weres in a ridiculous competition.  I am a little jaded because ABC has not responded to my suggestions: Kickboxing with the Stars, Dueling with the Stars, and Cliff Diving into Shark Infested Waters with the Stars.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Palin's Alaska

Tonight is the premier of Sarah Palin's Alaska on The Learning Channel (talk about irony).  I wonder if her travels include the governors mansion which she moved out of after quitting mid term, the location where abstinence advocate daughter Bristol got knocked up, and scenic views of Russia (must be near her house). 

The Shocking, the Ridiculous, and the Absurd

- Courtesy of Sister Sue: The Wakefield (Mass) Track and Field Team is taking a lot of flak for its new team tee shirts that simply say WTF; reminds me of my Little League days playing for Braintree Savings Bank when our hats said BS.
- The Chandler (AZ) City Hall posted restrooms signs warning people not to drink out of toilets and urinals.  Seriously?  Have people been bobbing for apples in Chandler’s public restrooms?
- The NFL will likely push for an 18 game regular season schedule, an increase of 2 games from today’s schedule.  You know who is the happiest about this potential change:  Csonka, Shula, Griese, and the rest of the ’72 unbeaten Dolphins.
- Citizens of Oklahoma unanimously passed a law that bars Oklahoma courts from considering Islamic or Shariah law.  This rise in Islamophobia is being stoked by demagoguery and ignorance.  How can Sharia law be considered in an Oklahoma court of law that operates under the Oklahoma State Constitution? 
- Why is everyone up in arms about this Four Loko?  OK I get that it’s caffeinated alcohol drink.   What do you think Red Bull and Vodka is?  Collegiate alcohol overindulgence is not a new problem: Grain alcohol punch.
- Morgan Stanley Manager Martin Erzinger will not face felony charges for a hit and run accident in Colorado.  Erzinger, in his Mercedes, struck Dr. Steven Milo while Milo was riding his bike and then proceeded to leave the scene.  Milo suffered spinal injuries and bleeding in the brain.  District Attorney Mark Hurlbert defending his decision not to pursue felony charges said “Felony convictions have some pretty serious job implications for someone in Mr. Erzinger's profession, and that entered into it.  When you're talking about restitution, you don't want to take away his ability to pay."  Tough shit.  I hope Milo’s civil suit lands him tens of millions and Hurlbert is hurled out of office.

Don't Ask Don't Tell - Now I'm Pissed

On July 28, 1948 President Harry S. Truman issued Executive Order 9981:  "It is hereby declared to be the policy of the President that there shall be equality of treatment and opportunity for all persons in the armed services without regard to race, color, religion or national origin."

62 years ago President Truman had the guts, common sense, convictions, and humanity to do the right thing.  17 years before the civil rights act President Truman made the military the leader in equal rights.  Now in 2010 when the nation's majority understands that gays and lesbians should not be discriminated against, the military lags behind. 

Here we go:

President Obama: Show some Trumanesque courage and sign the executive order repealing the law and allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly.  You say you can't to it because Congress passed the DADT law and only Congress and the Courts can overturn it.  Not true.  Since DADT went into effect in 1993, the Supreme Court has passed judgements (Lawrence v. Texas) that discrimination against gays is unconstitutional.  Further as Commander-In-Chief you can sign an executive order that DADT not be enforced.

The pentagon has conducted a study asking members of the armed forces how they would feel about having openly gays and lesbians serving.  I'm sorry did I miss the other pentagon studies that asked the members of the armed forces whether we should invade Iraq, who should sit on the JCS, or whether they should do push ups?

The socially conservative traditionalists who oppose the repeal: McCain, Webb, Amos, and Casey need to wake up and get their heads out of your collective asses.  Are you so naive to believe that there are no gays risking their lives and dying in Afghanistan?  When the military is reducing the recruiting acceptance standards, keeping DADT in place is a national security risk.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

What's Aladdin to do?

On September 29th, as part of its sanctions package, the US banned the import of Persian rugs from Iran.  In related news Aladdin was spotted test driving a Prius in Santa Monica.

Arizona Medical Marijuana

Proposition 203, the legalization of medical marijuana, is headed for passage.  So have I ever told you about my glaucoma and severe anxiety disorder?  When's Avatar on?

Bush on Kanye: How About Some Perspective

During a recent interview with Matt Lauer, George W. Bush said:

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: That's -- "he's a racist." And I didn't appreciate it then. I don't appreciate it now. It's one thing to say, "I don't appreciate the way he's handled his business." It's another thing to say, "This man's a racist." I resent it, it's not true, and it was one of the most disgusting moments in my Presidency.

Mr. Bush is correct, that was a terrible and inaccurate statement made by West.  However, calling it "...one of the most disgusting moments in my Presidency.", is equally insulting and disgusting.  Compared to: failure to listen to 9/11 threats, invading Iraq, thousands of US servicemen killed and wounded, thousands of Iraqi citizens killed, financial deregulation, Katrina response, Abu Grhaib, politicizing Pat Tillman, economic meltdown, Russian emergence, excessive deficit spending, Gitmo, and enabling the petroleum industry all come to mind as significantly more disgusting.

Perspective.

Asses Not Welcome at Fox

It seems Fox has told the producers of the Simpsons that they will no longer allow the iconic cartoon to show neither Bart's nor Homer's bare butts.  One can only hope this war on asses at Fox will include O'Reilly, Hannity, Rove, Hume, Palin, Huckabee, etc.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Friday Freeks and Fun Facts

-        Latest weight loss breakthrough: The basics of weight loss are simple: Eat less. Move more.  And that’s why America is getting more obese by the day.
-        Murrah High School coach Marlon Dorsey has since been suspended for violently paddling his students' backsides, saying he was trying to "save these young men."  In 1992 Indiana coach Bobby Knight mock whipped a black player, Calbert Cheney, making national headlines and resulting in protests by civil rights leaders.  Will there be any civil rights protests against Mr. Dorsey?
-        Passengers on the Carnival Splendor have been sharing their horror stories from their 72 hour ordeal.  "It was gross when the toilets weren't working. What can you do?" Harlan said.  Really?  Speaking on behalf of the citizens of New Orleans: man the f__k up bitch.
-        During his interview this week with Matt Lauer, Kanye West seemed to fold like origami when Lauer pressed the Taylor Swift controversy.  After the interview Kanye said he would not appear on the Today’s show Black Friday concert at Rockefeller Plaza on November 26th.  Yo Krackpot Kanye if you can’t handle an interview with Matt Lauer, move to the Galapagos Islands.  And check with your business manager as you just passed up a tremendous sales opportunity: Black Friday live performance in Manhattan.
-        According to CNN, an aging workforce could lead to increased cases of dementia at the workplace.  Great the office will be even more like congress.

STFU

Glenn Beck is a steaming pile of dog crap.  Oooops sorry, Mrs. Diggapedia told me that's an insult to steaming piles of dog crap. 

His attack on George Soros is his latest example of power envy passive bigotry:
"[Soros] used to go around with this anti-Semite and deliver papers to the Jews and confiscate their property and then ship them off. And George Soros was part of it. He would help confiscate the stuff. It was frightening. Here's a Jewish boy helping send the Jews to the death camps. And I am certainly not saying that George Soros enjoyed that, even had a choice. I mean, he's 14 years old. He was surviving. So I'm not making a judgment. That's between him and God. [...] George Soros is -- many people would call him an anti-Semite. I will not. I don't know enough about all of his positions on Jews."

All I'm saying is Glenn Beck smells like a springtime fragrance and looks like a vaginal bulb syringe with a long nozzle having lateral holes.  Many feminine hygiene products may call min a douche bag.  I will not.  That's between him and his pharmacist.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Thursday's Thoughts and Theories

1) Lou Dobbs to join Fox Business News.  Shocking.  What will be his 1st story: Illegal Immigrants devalue the dollar.
2) Cal-Maine Foods Inc. recalled 288,000 eggs.  Do the hens who laid the bad eggs get reprimanded?
3) The armed services internal assessment on repealing don't ask don't tell concluded that repeal carries little risk, with more than 70 percent of troops saying that allowing gays to serve openly would have positive, mixed or no results, according to an official familiar with the report's findings.  OK Senators Webb and McCain, put up or shut up.  Vote to repeal.
4) After 72 hours at sea without electricity, Carnival Cruise Line's Splendor has been finally towed back to port.  When reached for comment ship's bartender Isaac Washington simply gave his signature two handed pistol salute followed by a "Right On".
5) I am on pace to save over $1,000 per year by no longer stopping at Starbucks for my morning quad grande nonfat latte.  It's not a political or health thing, just a thing.  I haven't seen any side effects from the de-quadification....ooops sorry just nodded off.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I am not an Economist, but I read The Economist...Koo Koo Ka Chu

Co-chairmen Simpson and Bowles released some of the Deficit Commission's plans to reduce our deficit.  Needless to say it contains some very unpopular elements.  Start the music and let's watch the politicians dance.  Interestingly, some of this bloggers ideas are actually included.  Key items:

1) $.15 increase in gas tax
2) Cuts in farm subsidies, foreign aid, and defense spending
3) Increase retirement age to 69 by 2075...not gonna worry about that one.
4) Social Security and Medicare benefits reductions and a progressive system to reduce benefits for the better off.
5) Health care costs reductions
6) A three-year freeze in the pay of most federal employees and a 10 percent cut in the federal work force.
7) Eliminating all congressional pet projects or earmarks.
8) For individuals and families, the proposal would eliminate a host of popular tax credits and deductions, including the child tax credit and the mortgage interest deduction. However, it would significantly reduce income tax rates. The top rate would drop from 35 percent to 23 percent.

It must be a good plan because both liberals and conservatives are equally pissed off.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tuesday Top Ten

1)      Tonight is results night on DWTS or when Mrs. Diggapedia does her impression of Mr. Diggapedia watching football.  For instance last week I discovered that DWTS  judge Carrie Ann Inaba has a middle name that rhymes with trucking, at least that’s what I thought I heard being yelled from the other room.
2)      While chowing down an awesome Whopper today at the DFW airport (save your condemnations I was hungry and weak) I noticed that on the fountain drink machine they  had recommended soft drink/food pairings.  They actually have a soda pop sommelier.  Brilliant.
3)      Latest brilliance from Dolphin linebacker Channing Crowder "Like they didn't see Chad Henne get hit twice when he slid. Yeah, a little Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank."  Asked what the Anne Frank reference meant, Crowder said "Who was that? Is that the blind girl? Helen Keller ... I don't know who the f--- Anne Frank is. I'm mad right now. F--- it. I'm not as swift as I usually am.”
4)      The Big East wants TCU to join the conference.  That’s TEXAS Christian University.  In related news the Pac Ten extends invitation to University of Miami to join its conference.
5)      The recent chatter regarding changes to Social Security to stave off insolvency made me think of the outrageously hysterical satire ‘Boomsday’ by Christopher Buckley.   Check it out and laugh your ass off.
6)      Quilted Northern, Charmin, Angel Soft, and Cottonelle have all reduced the size of a piece of toilet tissue and the number of ‘squares’ per roll.  Sorry Elaine, I don’t think anyone can afford to spare a square now.
7)      Mr. Goodwrench became a victim of corporate restructuring today when GM fired him.  When reached for comment Mr. Goodwrench said  “Well I guess I will have some free time to go fishing with my old buddy Rusty Jones”.  Jones had previously been laid off by GM in 1988.
8)      Had my first debate last night with a fanatical conspiracy theorist.  Some of the theories included: The Fed is owned by the Bank of England, Middle Eastern Oil comes from bacterial growth farms and not fossils, Ron Paul/Jesse Ventura will be the winning ticket in 2012, water fluoridation is a government mind control plan, and guns from America are NOT making it across the border to Mexico.  We ran out of time before we could discuss Obama’s birth certificate, Area 51, 9/11, and what really happened to Dick York, the original Darren Stevens.
9)      Glad to have Conan back on the air.  The Diggapedia Top Three Late Night Shows: 3) Conan, 2) Jimmy Fallon, and 1) Craig Ferguson.  Ferguson’s show is original and consistently funny.  You will have the time of your life….in your pants.
10)    Usually if I really like a book and it is made into a movie, I will go see it, and 99% of the time I end up disappointed.  Well George W. Bush’s memoir has been published, but after watching the 8 year mini-series, I don’t think I can stomach the book unless it has pop-ups.